As seen on TV (or in this case in printed ad)........................

I want one.....

You've seen it, THE ad.  The one that makes you salivate.  You know you must have it or your life is not going to be OK ever again.  For some it's jewelry, for others tight girdles that guarantee Angelina Jolie's body for as little as 4 easy payments of 19.95.  For me, its a Toilet. 

You read that correctly.  It's a toilet.  Not just any toilet.  This sweet thing flushes itself, alarms if the lid is left up and you can flush a tennis ball down it and it won't plug it up. It comes with a nifty plumber man, who will install it and if by some unlikely and world ending chance your little goblins manage to clog it up, he will come and fix it anytime for no charge.

I really, really want one.  Since we potty trained Ryan I have as of yet been unable to walk into a bathroom that's ready to be used.  I can just finish cleaning my toilet to shiny perfection, turn around to put my cleansers away and BOOM........... someone has been there, done that and gone.

I long for the days of embarrassment free toileting.  Where I can have someone come to my home and ask to use the restroom and I won't have to say, Just a moment please I need to check something.  I long for the nights of usage, where I don't have to do the double check.  Where a preemptive flush is not required and where countless hours of plunging, snaking and crying are no longer a weekly occurrence. 

As my husband has thus far been unwilling to help me with my ultimate master plan, it includes an electrified toilet seat that can sense when something falls on it or in it and the situation is not properly contained, this is the next best thing.

I mean what's $759 plus tax for a life altering necessity such as this.