Fun pictures of Rachel from School

Yes it appears the fake puppies have huddled up to the fire hydrant to water it.........

Mormons

I saw this picture and couldn't help but laugh my butt off. At least someone had a good time.

Ryan

As John was tucking Ryan into bed, Ryan looked very thoughfull and said, "Girls get jewlery...... but boys get mankind named after them."  Jeez that kid!

Whew.......

Wow.  Where did March go.  It seems like I run and run and nothing much gets done.  I've been called to be in the scouting program.  I'll be "den mother?" for the bears which is Ryan's age.  It's either going to kill me or make me wish to be dead.  Now that's not terribly positive is it.  I'm sure it will be great.  Right?

Work is busy, busy.  My block of business is growing exponentially.  We currently have a little over 1,000 plans and shortly we'll have a little over 10,000.  Yup you read that right.  Ahhhhhh.

I'm attaching pictures of my creation.  It's a chore chart for my kids.  I'm super excited.  I've been trying to figure out a way to let my kids 'own' their chores.  I don't want them to have to come to John and I and say, OK what do you need me to do next.  I wanted them to have a way of looking at something and being able to tell themselves.

Each stick is color coded.

Umm that may or may not be dinner in the picture.  Whoops.

Green = Daily chores

1. Put Laundry away
2. Clean Room
3. Check/Change Bedding
4. Homework
5. Brush Teeth
6. Shower/Bath

Yellow = 15 min chores
These are things like: vacuuming the upstairs/downstairs, sweeping and moping, bathrooms

Red = paying chores
Things like: Yard work, cleaning the cars, cleaning the fridge, washing walls

Blue= 10 min chores
Things like switching laundry, dusting

The kids will each have to pick several of the yellow and blue and complete them.  I've got two holes in the name block, one for to do and one for done.  Awesome isn't it.

Aiden's First Tooth..............................

Aiden's first tooth came in today.  How did my baby get this big?  Pictures coming soon.................

Nothing really important to say........................

Most day's I walk through this fog.  It's like all I can hope for is that the day will end and I can go to bed.  I haven't decided if I'm depressed, lonely or honestly just need more sleep. 

It's funny to think that I could be lonely since I'm constantly surrounded by craziness. Maybe I am. I don't really have friends like I used to.  You know people I can call to just hang out, go to the movies, get dinner.  I miss that connection.

Maybe I am depressed.  I've had a ton of stuff happen in the last little while and honestly my life is always kind of a roller coaster.  I recently had a baby.  Maybe..... I just can't quite decide.

I've talked to multiple doctors and all I get is...... You have 5 kids and you work full time of course you are tired.  Please that is the biggest load of crappola I've heard.  I'm 29 not 50.  I shouldn't have to drag myself through the day. I don't want to be on a medication but I'm sick of feeling like the gum you've scraped off the bottom of your shoe.

Honestly what I need is a week away to myself.  No husband, No kids, No responsibilities other than how much rum can I consume and how much reading can I do next to a pool or the ocean.  I want it so much I can taste it.  I haven't had a week to myself since before I was married.  That's a long dang time. 

Here's to a taste of freedom.  Maybe someday....................

Things one overhears in the car.........................

So the kids were in the car pretending they were in a spaceship and the other cars were space aliens.  It's a beloved game that passes the time.

John overheard the following: Katie to Ryan, "that was a mighty poo."  Ryan, "I told you to wear the special shoes."

Moment's later.......

Katie, "So do you think you should ask a grown up how to impress the ladies?"  Ryan, " I know how to impress the ladies."

I might just wet my pants laughing.  Ladies beware, Ryan's on the prowl with the goods and knowledge to impress!

What this has to do with spaceships and aliens is forever lost in the lore of childhood.

Today we went to the dentist.............................

So the dentist is not where one would expect a lesson on anatomy to take place.  Rachel however believes wherever she is is a good place to tell you what's going on.

Picture it...............  She's sitting in the dentist chair.  Hygienist is up to her elbows in Rachel's mouth.  Rachel, Hmmm, cuts the cheese, passes the gas, the air escaped out of the basement instead of the attic.  You get the gist. 

Rachel not being one to pass on a moment to shame her mother, states LOUDLY, "I farted.  It came out of my bum.  Not my 'gina."  Yup.  That's my kid.  I thought the Hygienist would fall out of her chair laughing.

I am so proud.

Now this picture is not my child, but do you see the Hygienist's face.  Yeah, it sorta looked like that.

The stink eye, pink eye................

All 5 of my children have the stink eye.  I mean Pink eye.  It's disgusting.  It doesn't matter how much you disinfect you know the second one of them brings it into the house they are all going to have it.  Jeez.  So we called the Dr. and you know how they are.  "We can't give you a prescription over the phone.  We need to see the child to verify."  Right.

Mother of 5 over here.  I know what stink eye looks like.  Please, it's not like its hard to diagnose.
The child's eye is glued shut with boogers and it's pink, swollen and generally oozy.  Hi, this does not require someone with a medical degree to diagnose.  Simply someone with an ounce of common sense.

I've finally got prescriptions and the dosing begins.  Here's hoping it only lasts a couple of days and we'll be able to disinfect this house again from top to bottom.

Forgiveness

Poor Me................

So today has been one of those days.  I found out yesterday that I have to have IV antibiotics to try and clear out this damn pneumonia.  My babysitter is quiting (albeit in June but nevertheless we love her).  My cars cost 1500.00 to fix and I'm still paying of the original pneumonia hospital stay and that dang baby I had in August.   This is how my life runs.  When it rain's it pours and it always floods.

I was whining at my mom.  ('Cause mom's don't get enough whining and need it from their adult children.) and she said something truly profound.  Yes it sucks but look at your life; look at your husband and look at your babies.  Would you trade it?

No I wouldn't.  Sure Aiden cost me $5,000 but would I trade him.  Not on your life.  Sure my kids drive me nuts but would I honestly change one hair on their heads or go back in time and not have them?  No definitely not.  My husband loves me, faults and all.  He cherishes me.  He takes care of me.  He lets me sit on my fat, whiny butt and not do a dang thing around the house because I'm so exhausted just getting to work everyday.  What a wonderful supportive man. 

Money is just money.  It makes life easier but it doesn't bring more joy or wonder to it.  I need to suck it up and move forward and onward, remembering that I've been blessed and it could always be worse.  That's positive thinking right?

Poo, oh Poo..................

So poor Rachel.  I'm going to post this online and she will never live it down but it was to cute to not talk about.

I'm home with Aiden since he has the stomach flu and is alternately puking and pooping his little life away.  Poor child's bum is actually bleeding and he's so, so miserable.

Anyway, since I had to be home with Aiden I thought I would keep Rachel home with me and we could spend a little girl time together.  So get ready..........  I'm walking by the restroom and I hear singing.  I thought oh that's cute I'll listen a little.

Rachel is singing, "Poooooooo, oh Pooooooooooo.  Get out of my bum.  Poooooooo, oh Pooooooooo.  Get out of my bum."

There's nothing quite like a serenade in the most unlikely of places to really make you appreciate the little things in life.

Love you Rach.

Mom

New pages

As an FYI, I'm going to try and keep the Home page as a picture page for family and friends.  The second page is where I'll throw stuff that I just think is funny.   The third page is John and my weight loss page.  We're trying public shaming as a method of weight loss.  We'll let you know if it works!

You can access the other pages by clicking the links under my family picture that say, "Random things I thought were funny and/or Are all those chins mine?!!!."

Amanda

Daddy and Aiden

Poor Daddy.  He's so tired.  That makes two of us.  Love, Aiden.

New Year's Eve...........

Some of them made it.  Most of them didn't but we all had a ton of fun trying.  May your new year be blessed.

 We didn't make it but we tried so hard

 Stop taking pictures of me mom.  Jeez.  I didn't make it either.

 John made it.

 Ryan appears to be having his first kegger party. It's a dang good thing I know its Root Beer.

 Noah didn't make it.

 Party on dudes.

Adrianna and I made it.

31 Reasons You Shouldn't Feel Mom Guilt

So I got this off MSN.  But check out #29.......... Loved it!


1. Taking a vacation with only your husband.
It's such a tragedy for the kids to spend time with their superindulgent grandparents! Besides, they'll benefit from you two not giving each other the stink eye during dinner.

2. Feeling smug that you're a better parent than those on Supernanny.
No worries. We all feel smug watching Supernanny. Until we don't, at which time we employ her techniques.

3. Not signing up to be class parent.
Think of it this way: Your ability to say no to volunteer tasks you can't handle will leave you better able to concentrate on what only you can do, like getting your kids fed, dressed and onto the bus. Some days, that's huge!

4. Yelling at your son when he actually didn't do anything wrong.
Sure, not a great move, but it's a good opportunity to show him that even you screw up sometimes, and that saying sorry really does help make it better.

5. Enjoying your work.
You can love your kids and still have that "Thank God It's Monday" feeling, well, every Monday. Especially after a long and dreary winter weekend.

6. Buying your daughter the generic UGGs.
She'll live without the label, even if she thinks she will not, and her tootsies will be just as toasty.

7. Buying yourself the real ones.
You treat your shoes better than your kid does, and you won't outgrow them. Plus, they're really cute. Being the wage earner has its perks.

8. Giving him the answer to the last problem on his math homework.
He'll get more practice with the teacher in school.

9. Dipping into your son's goody bag when he isn't looking.
What's a funsize Snickers between family members?

10. Not going in the pool with them.
Chlorine does a real number on your hair, and besides, that's what dads are for.

11. Accepting your son's compliment that you're a good cook when he's eating pre-breaded microwave chicken breasts.
You did your part. You pressed "Start."

12. Wiping your daughter's nose with a panty liner - the closest thing to a tissue you had in your purse.
For heaven's sake - it was clean!

13. Stashing the Häagen-Dazs in the back of the freezer, and showcasing the supermarket brand.
If they're not ready to dig, they're not ready to appreciate the premium stuff.

14. Closing the bedroom door in their little faces.
You did not magically lose your need for privacy when you gave birth. If someone's bleeding or not breathing, by all means, they can knock.

15. Giving in once in a while.
It can be a wise parental trade-off, especially if what you're acceding to will buy you a few minutes of quiet time, private time or time to regroup. You don't need to be perfectly consistent.

16. Making your daughter get down from the top of the monkey bars, simply because it makes you nervous.
Yes, she's done it a million times safely, and she'll likely do it again, but who says you have to watch? Your comfort level counts, too!

17. Making the grandparents take them to "Disney on Ice."
It's torture for you, but for them, it's a future memory they'll cherish forever. What's the problem?

18. Tossing their artwork.
After you've saved the truly superior thumb pots and the especially sentimental glitter collages, you will still have a heap of crafts the size of Mount Etna. Fill up a big black Hefty bag after they're asleep, pour yourself some wine, and then watch Hoarders. You'll feel better instantly.

19. Being psyched that the best friend you never liked has moved to another state.
You're not happy your daughter is upset, of course, and you'll help her through it. But being secretly pleased that you won't ever have to host Little Miss Caitlin-Who-Gets-to-Wear-Belly-Shirts for a sleepover again doesn't make you a bad person.

20. Neglecting to videotape his role as "third planet from the sun" in the school solar-system pageant.
There will be other, more important achievements, and you can bet your son won't notice.

21. Letting it slip that the tooth fairy was actually her daddy.
You didn't destroy her childhood innocence. You let her in on a grown-up secret that she must never, ever tell her little brother, which makes her feel mature and important.

22. Knowing you could go months without sex, without even missing it.
Guilt about not feeling frisky makes you even less so. So your libido isn't what it used to be when you had no children to wear you out by 9 p.m. If you can remain open to the idea of sex, and get into it when you can, that's fine until things change. Which they probably will as your children get older.

23. Only pretending to be sad that your child's birthday falls in mid-August.
No gigantic birthday parties, full of political decisions as to whom to invite.

24. Reading this article instead of soliciting donations for the PTA auction, cultivating your organic vegetable garden or cleaning out that kitchen drawer with the random rubber bands, screwdrivers and old keys in it.
Even machines need to unplug and reboot every so often.

25. Sitting and reading.
You do not need to be on the treadmill in your first free 20 minutes in three days. You'll exercise at the next break in the action when you can.

26. Looking forward to guys' weekend even more than your husband.
It's so much easier sometimes to just take care of stuff by yourself without having to take someone else's opinion into account. Plus, a little time apart is never a bad thing.

27. Not letting her pierce her ears until the age at which you were allowed to.
Just because.

28. Finding aspects of motherhood incredibly tedious.
If you didn't find watching your child go down the slide for the 100th time that day ("Mom, look at meeee!") or nagging him to put his socks in the hamper a bit of a snooze, you'd be too easily amused, and hence a moron.

29. Noticing the hot dad at drop-off.
Ahem, you have eyes in your head, and (sex drive or no) you're not dead yet! Did you lick him? No? You're okay.

30. Still being really PO'd about the stretch marks.

31. Forgetting to lay out her best outfit for school photo days.

I'm thinking of joining the NRA.......................

Today I spent most of the day in court.  What a wonderful and joyful way to spend the day.  Honestly you can spend 4 hours in the Matheson Courthouse and go home to your life and say, "Wow, my life could be worse."  I could actually be on a first name basis with the bailiff.  My name could be Candy Kane Willis or Moe.  I could use the time I'm supposed to be using to request different council to instead profess mad love to my boyfriend (let me add he was a man) and confirm that I went from 300 lbs to 160 in just a few months in jail.

I saw more hairspray, spandex, tattoo's, ink and butt cracks in that courtroom than I ever thought possible.  Honestly if I was going to court and I was hoping that the judge wasn't going to stick my uneducated butt in prison or jail I would probably hitch up my pants and wear something that didn't say fu on my t-shirt.  That's just me though.

I saw some guy carried out on a stretcher while his girlfriend said, "I'll meet you at the hospital I just want to talk to the lawyer first."  No one had bothered to wash their hair and apparently the 'Cool' style is a tire track mohawk right down the middle of your head because I swear every other gangster had this hairstyle going. 

Honestly what it made me think was I wish I was a card carry member of the NRA because after seeing the 100 or so cases that I got to watch this morning, and seeing the nasty refuse that was released on the public, it really makes me rethink my stance on guns and carrying concealed in my purse.

11 Step Program for Those Thinking About Having Kids

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.