My son kicked himself in the face..........

There are times in your life as a parent where you think to yourself, I'm doing a great job. I'm raising happy, healthy and well adjusted little people who are going to go out into the world and make a difference. They are going to be doctors, writers or little dot.commers. I'm raising the next little Facebook creator or the doctor who cures cancer or aids.

You look at your little darling and think I'm doing something right. They are beautiful, stunning even. They are polite and kind. They are empathetic and sweet. They say things like, "Mom I love you." "Mom, is there anything I can do to help you?" "Mom, thank you for making dinner even though it sort of tasted like the bottom of my shoe."

Then there are times when you realize you've failed. You are raising the next star of the Jackass movies or even worse a politician. Sigh. I'm pretty sure I'm raising the kids who are going to maim themselves so badly that I'm not going to be getting the grandchildren I have been told are the reward for allowing said children to live.

Now I have a pretty even mix of boys vs. girls. We've got three boys and two girls and while most of you have heard my personal motto; for those of you who haven't it reads: "Girls are drama, boys are destruction."

Let's set the scene. I'm at work, the phone rings...... I check the caller ID and it says, "Granite public schools." My heart starts to race, my mind starts going through all the possible things that would require a school to call you in the middle of the day.

• There's been a threat against the school
• someone's brought silly bands or Pokemon cards to school
• my child has been viciously assaulted
• it's one of the many random days off and I didn't know (this has actually happened)
• my child has sneezed and therefore needs a doctor's note before being readmitted to school.

You know the normal day to day occurrences. You prepare yourself and say, "This Amanda. How may I help you?"

A voice on the other line, they sound a little breathless. "Hi, Amanda. This is Jolene Randall, over at Vista Elementary. Your son has had an accident on the playground. We aren't entirely sure how it happened, but your son has a black eye and from what he's said it appears he's kicked himself in the face."

Yes, you read that correctly. The school principal is calling me to come and pick up my 9 year old son, who has managed to kick himself in the face and cause grievous, instacare inducing trauma. I now realize, she's a little breathless because she's been laughing so hard she's trying not to wet her pants.

I am so proud.

How you might ask does a 9 year old boy kick himself in the face hard enough to have a black eye that lasts a record 3 weeks? We're still trying to figure it out.